Printers...Why'd it have to be printers?

I've been lurking around IT for a while now. A while being, in this case, around 28 years (since my ZX81 in all its glory). In all that time from membrane keyboards, through hard drives that - literally - exploded when they crashed through weird plug in cards that never, quite, worked to today, nothing, NOTHING has caused me more pain that printers.

Back in the early 90's I used to install, maintain and code for chain / band printers (durango etc for those of you who suffered too) then it was big old lasers then the coming of the cheap and leaky ink jet and now and again dye sublimation and, god help me, thermal paper!

Now I have a colour laser at home, a hefty but compact beast, in the form of a Minolta 2300w magicolor. Its noisy but pretty fast and makes nice prints for business and fun (see the DVD cover entry below re my VHS conversions). What it doesnt like is moving. It REALLY doesnt like it.

Firstly it weighs roughly the same, give or take, as a small car. This makes moving it an unpleasant and, often, dangerous affair. I've now moved houses with this thing about 3 times, 4 if you include moving it from its original office location. However its only in the last move that something stopped working.

It decided to (and here I pause to say a jaunty hello to all those who just arrived after googling this - as I know now - common problem) start printing, feed the paper out 2 thirds of the way and stop with an error. Additionally, just for fun you understand, nothing would be on the paper apart from a few, begrudging smudges.

3 hours, much chaos and shouting and grumpyness later the thing was working again (pauses to do something superstious to keep it working) it now prints fairly nicely again. The problems?

1. I think the removal guys dropped it.
I'm not suprised at this. I managed to move the last time in a february snow storm and, after nearly killing myself the previous move, I asked the two rather more fit gentlement to move it. I dont think they quite braced themselves and I think it touched down with a little bit of a bump.

2. I think.... they dropped it again
See 1... again

3. These things partly work by using static and dust loves it
When I opened up the printer and took out its innards (you're saying gross now aren't you? You know this is a printer right?) I found a ton of dust on the transfer rollers and other really important bits. I'm willing to guess this was related to problems 1 and 2.

4. Solenoids
The little microswitches that tell the printer, "hey, theres some paper here, whatdaya want I should do with it?" at various points through the internal twisty route. These are very small and can stick especially when dusty or jarred (see 1,2 and 3 above). I gave these a good clean.

5. Toner
This thing takes 3 toner cartridges and a drum. The drum is around half way through its life and I'd changed the toner about 2 years ago (I don't print that much-call me a softy for trees). I swapped out a rather congeled (you're saying urgh now aren't you?) black toner cartridge and swapped in a new one thats been sealed up since I got it 4 years ago.

After then replacing a number of screws (at a gues around a million) I tried the thing and for now its working rather nicely (pauses to pat printer). Then the next day I went into work, sent some vital piece of work to the multi squillion pound networked colour laser/copier/tanning salon machine and..... it jammed up.

I really hate printers.